Two and a Half Men

  • 2003

A hit sitcom built on often-raunchy material, starring Charlie Sheen and, later, Ashton Kutcher begins with the premise of a Malibu bachelor (Sheen) whose life is disrupted when his brother and... MORE

Season 9
Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep18 #0 The War Against Gingivitis 2/27/12
Ep17 #0 Not in My Mouth! 2/20/12
Ep16 #0 Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy 2/13/12
Ep15 #0 The Duchess of Dull-in-Sack 2/6/12
Ep14 #0 A Possum on Chemo 1/16/12
Ep13 #0 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion 1/2/12
Ep12 #0 One False Move, Zimbabwe! 12/12/11
Ep11 #0 What a Lovely Landing Strip 12/5/11
Ep10 #0 A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes 11/21/11
Ep9 #0 Frodo's Headshots 11/14/11
Ep8 #0 Thank You for the Intercourse 11/7/11
Ep7 #0 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets 10/31/11
Ep6 #0 The Squat and the Hover 10/24/11
Ep5 #0 A Giant Cat Holding a Churro 10/17/11
Ep4 #0 Nine Magic Fingers 10/10/11
Ep3 #0 Big Girls Don't Throw Food 10/3/11
Ep2 #0 People Who Love Peepholes 9/26/11
Ep1 #0 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt 9/19/11
Season 8
Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep16 #0 That Darn Priest 2/14/11
Ep15 #0 Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak 2/7/11
Ep14 #0 Lookin' for Japanese Subs 1/17/11
Ep13 #0 Skunk, Dog, Crap and Ketchup 1/3/11
Ep12 #0 Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead 12/13/10
Ep11 #0 Dead from the Waist Down 12/6/10
Ep10 #0 Ow, Ow Don't Stop 11/22/10
Ep9 #0 A Good Time in Central Africa 11/15/10
Ep8 #0 Springtime on a Stick 11/8/10
Ep7 #0 The Crazy Bitch Gazette 11/1/10
Ep6 #0 Twanging Your Magic Clanger 10/25/10
Ep5 #0 The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel 10/18/10
Ep4 #0 Hookers, Hookers, Hookers 10/11/10
Ep3 #0 A Pudding-Filled Cactus 10/4/10
Ep2 #0 A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer 9/27/10
Ep1 #0 Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud 9/20/10
Season 7
Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep22 #0 This Is Not Gonna End Well 5/24/10
Ep21 #0 Gumby with a Pokey 5/17/10
Ep20 #0 I Called Him Magoo 5/10/10
Ep19 #0 Keith Moon is Vomiting in His Grave 4/12/10
Ep18 #0 Ixnay on the Oggie Day 3/22/10
Ep17 #0 I Found Your Moustache 3/8/10
Ep16 #0 Tinkle Like a Princess 3/1/10
Ep15 #0 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche 2/8/10
Ep14 #0 Crude and Uncalled For 2/1/10
Ep13 #0 Yay, No Polyps! 1/18/10
Ep12 #0 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste 1/11/10
Ep11 #0 Warning, It's Dirty 12/14/09
Ep10 #0 That's Why They Call It Ball Room 12/7/09
Ep9 #0 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair 11/23/09
Ep8 #0 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle 11/16/09
Ep7 #0 Untainted by Filth 11/9/09
Ep6 #0 Give Me Your Thumb 11/2/09
Ep5 #0 For the Sake of the Child 10/19/09
Ep4 #0 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator 10/12/09
Ep3 #0 Mmm, Fish. Yum 10/5/09
Ep2 #0 Whipped Unto the Third Generation 9/28/09
Ep1 #0 818-jlkpuzo 9/21/09
Season 6
Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep24 #0 Baseball Was Better With Steroids 5/18/09
Ep23 #0 Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth 5/11/09
Ep22 #0 Sir Lancelot's Litter Box 5/4/09
Ep21 #0 Above Exalted Cyclops 4/27/09
Ep20 #0 Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau 4/13/09
Ep19 #0 The Two Finger Rule 3/30/09
Ep18 #0 My Son's Enormous Head 3/16/09
Ep17 #0 The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'? 3/9/09
Ep16 #0 She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime 3/2/09
Ep15 #0 I'd Like to Start With the Cat 2/9/09
Ep14 #0 David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie 2/2/09
Ep13 #0 I Think You Offended Don 1/19/09
Ep12 #0 Thank God for Scoliosis 1/12/09
Ep11 #0 The Devil's Lube 12/15/08
Ep10 #0 He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited 12/8/08
Ep9 #0 The Mooch at the Boo 11/24/08
Ep8 #0 Pinocchio's Mouth 11/17/08
Ep7 #0 Best H.O. Money Can Buy 11/10/08
Ep6 #0 It's Always Nazi Week 11/3/08
Ep5 #0 A Jock Strap in Hell 10/20/08
Ep4 #0 The Flavin' and the Mavin' 10/13/08
Ep3 #0 Damn You, Eggs Benedict 10/6/08
Ep2 #0 Pie Hole, Herb 9/29/08
Ep1 #0 Taterhead Is Our Love Child 9/22/08
Season 5
Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep19 #0 Waiting for the Right Snapper 5/19/08
Ep18 #0 If My Hole Could Talk 5/12/08
Ep17 #0 Fish in a Drawer 5/5/08
Ep16 #0 Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty 4/28/08
Ep15 #0 Rough Night in Hump Junction 4/21/08
Ep14 #0 Winky-Dink Time 4/14/08
Ep13 #0 The Soil Is Moist 3/31/08
Ep12 #0 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh 3/24/08
Ep11 #0 Meander to Your Dander 3/17/08
Ep10 #0 Kinda Like Necrophilia 11/27/07
Ep9 #0 Shoes, Hats, Pickle Jar Lids (aka Tight's Good) 11/19/07
Ep8 #0 Is There a Mrs. Waffles? 11/12/07
Ep7 #0 The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room 11/6/07
Ep6 #0 Help Daddy Find His Toenail 10/29/07
Ep5 #0 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat 10/22/07
Ep4 #0 City of Great Racks 10/15/07
Ep3 #0 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo 10/8/07
Ep2 #0 Media Room Slash Dungeon 10/1/07
Ep1 #0 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom 9/24/07
Season 4
Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep24 #0 Prostitutes and Gelato 5/14/07
Ep23 #0 Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin 5/7/07
Ep22 #0 Mr. McGlue's Feedbag 4/30/07
Ep21 #0 Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous 4/23/07
Ep20 #0 Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot 4/16/07
Ep19 #0 Smooth as a Ken Doll 4/9/07
Ep18 #0 It Never Rains in Hooterville 3/19/07
Ep17 #0 I Merely Slept With a Commie 2/26/07
Ep16 #0 Young People Have Phlegm Too 2/19/07
Ep15 #0 My Damn Stalker 2/12/07
Ep14 #0 That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami 2/5/07
Ep13 #0 Don't Worry, Speed Racer 1/22/07
Ep12 #0 Castrating Sheep in Montana 1/8/07
Ep11 #0 Walnuts and Demerol 12/11/06
Ep10 #0 Kissing Abraham Lincoln 11/27/06
Ep9 #0 Corey's Been Dead for an Hour 11/20/06
Ep8 #0 Release the Dogs 11/13/06
Ep7 #0 Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head 11/6/06
Ep6 #0 Apologies for the Frivolity 10/23/06
Ep5 #0 A Live Woman of Proven Fertility 10/16/06
Ep4 #0 A Pot-Smoking Monkey 10/9/06
Ep3 #0 The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress 10/2/06
Ep2 #0 Who's Vod Kanockers? 9/25/06
Ep1 #0 Working for Caligula 9/18/06
Season 3
Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep24 #0 That Pistol-packin' Hermaphrodite 5/22/06
Ep23 #0 Arguments for the Quickie 5/15/06
Ep22 #0 Just Once With Aunt Sophie 5/8/06
Ep21 #0 And the Plot Moistens 5/1/06
Ep20 #0 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro 4/24/06
Ep19 #0 Golly Moses, She's a Muffin 4/10/06
Ep18 #0 The Spit-Covered Cobbler 3/20/06
Ep17 #0 The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer 3/13/06
Ep16 #0 Ergo, the Booty Call 3/6/06
Ep15 #0 My Tongue Is Meat 2/27/06
Ep14 #0 Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded 2/6/06
Ep13 #0 Humiliation Is a Visual Medium 1/23/06
Ep12 #0 That Special Tug 1/9/06
Ep11 #0 Santa's Village of the Damned 12/19/05
Ep10 #0 Something Salty and Twisted 11/28/05
Ep9 #0 Madame and Her Special Friend 11/21/05
Ep8 #0 That Voodoo That I Do Do 11/14/05
Ep7 #0 Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop 11/7/05
Ep6 #0 Hi, Mr. Horned One 10/24/05
Ep5 #0 We Call It Mr. Pinky 10/17/05
Ep4 #0 Your Dismissive Attitude Towards Boobs 10/10/05
Ep3 #0 Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark 10/3/05
Ep2 #0 Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover 9/26/05
Ep1 #0 Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts 9/19/05
Season 2
Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep24 #0 Does This Smell Funny to You? 5/23/05
Ep23 #0 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab 5/16/05
Ep22 #0 That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother 5/9/05
Ep21 #0 A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On 5/2/05
Ep20 #0 I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey 4/18/05
Ep19 #0 A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise 3/21/05
Ep18 #0 It Was 'Mame,' Mom 3/7/05
Ep17 #0 Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam! 2/21/05
Ep16 #0 Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth? 2/14/05
Ep15 #0 Smell the Umbrella Stand 2/7/05
Ep14 #0 Those Big Pink Things With Coconut 1/31/05
Ep13 #0 Zejdz zmoich wlosow (Get Off My Hair) 1/17/05
Ep12 #0 A Lungful of Alan 1/3/05
Ep11 #0 Last Chance to See Those Tattoos 12/13/04
Ep10 #0 The Salmon Under My Sweater 11/29/04
Ep9 #0 Yes, Monsignor 11/22/04
Ep8 #0 Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers 11/15/04
Ep7 #0 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana 11/8/04
Ep6 #0 The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance 10/25/04
Ep5 #0 Bad News From the Clinic? 10/18/04
Ep4 #0 Go Get Mommy's Bra 10/11/04
Ep3 #0 A Bag Full of Jawea 10/4/04
Ep2 #0 Enjoy Those Garlic Balls 9/27/04
Ep1 #0 Back Off, Mary Poppins 9/20/04
Season 1
Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep24 #0 Can You Feel My Finger? 5/24/04
Ep23 #0 Just Like Buffalo 5/17/04
Ep22 #0 My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet 5/10/04
Ep21 #0 No Sniffing, No Wowing 5/3/04
Ep20 #0 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark? 4/19/04
Ep19 #0 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You 3/22/04
Ep18 #0 An Old Flame With a New Wick 3/1/04
Ep17 #0 Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats 2/23/04
Ep16 #0 That Was Saliva, Alan 2/16/04
Ep15 #0 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick 2/9/04
Ep14 #0 I Can't Afford Hyenas 2/2/04
Ep13 #0 Sarah Like Puny Alan 1/12/04
Ep12 #0 Camel Filters and Pheromones 1/5/04
Ep11 #0 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor 12/15/03
Ep10 #0 Merry Thanksgiving 11/24/03
Ep9 #0 Phase One, Complete 11/17/03
Ep8 #0 Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-ful 11/10/03
Ep7 #0 If They Don't Go Either Way They're Usually Fake 11/3/03
Ep6 #0 Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? 10/27/03
Ep5 #0 The Last Thing You Want to Do Is Wind Up With a Hump 10/20/03
Ep4 #0 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap 10/13/03
Ep3 #0 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell 10/6/03
Ep2 #0 Big Flappy Bastards 9/29/03
Ep1 #0 Pilot - Most Chicks Won't Eat Veal 9/22/03
Season Unknown
Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep1 #0 Pilot Episode 9/22/03
#0 What a Lovely Landing Strip
#0 Lookin' for Japanes Subs
#0 Chocolate diddlesrs or my puppy's dead
#0 Charlie's Angels
#0 Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
#0 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
#0 The Unfortunate Little Schnauser
#0 Three Hookers And A Philly Cheesecake
#0 New
#0 Best Guest Stars
#0 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
#0 If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
#0 That Voodoo That I Do
Clips & More
Clip TypeClip NameViewing ProgressRun Length
Clip Two and a Half Men - Who Had Corn Chowder?
2:32 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - I Love You
1:34 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Busted
1:35 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Gonna Be Sick
2:06 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Need To Talk
2:17 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Puke Fest
1:20 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - I'm Sorry
2:09 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Not In My Mouth Extended Preview
1:50 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - 'Not in My Mouth' Preview
1:12 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Education and Refinement
2:22 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Battle of the Screams
3:37 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Refuge in the Storm
2:43 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - 'Sips, Sonnets, and Sodomy' Preview
1:09 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Keep Looking
1:05 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Sir Schmidt
4:34 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Port of Entry
2:47 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Carnal Interludes
5:04 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack Extended Preview
1:41 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Men-Scaping
0:33 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Hipster Jesus
3:34 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Low Standards
4:57 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - A Bad Beard Day
3:25 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - What We Have
1:23 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Preview: A Possum on Chemo
0:57 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - An Oopsie
1:52 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Walden Loves Alan
1:25 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - The Ayes Have It
1:25 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Mr. Deeds
1:44 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Slowly And In A Circular Fashion Extended Preview
1:50 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - John Shaffner Interview
2:28 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Disappearing Act
2:36 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Not At All Imaginary
2:51 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - A Premature Gift?
1:27 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - The Best Christmas Ever!
2:00 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Primate Reunion
1:47 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - I'll Teach You
1:03 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Descending Into London
2:14 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Quick and Painful
2:01 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Ashes of the Old
3:01 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - A Lovely Landing Strip Extended Preview
1:39 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Jake Harper: Through the Years
3:27 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Pawn Shop
1:58 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - That Ship Has Sailed
2:56 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Alan's Precious
2:00 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Jake Sucks Up to Walden
2:40 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Preview: A Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
1:13 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Alan's Buddy Gary Busey
1:39 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Alan to be a Grandfather
4:25 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Herb Kills Alan
4:14 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - An Absurd Situation
3:38 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Frodo's Headshots Extended Preview
1:00 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Just Like Charlie
2:17 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Alan is Winning
0:32 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Alan is Admitted
3:24 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Whose Your Friend?
4:07 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Charlie's Jingle Legacy
2:07 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Thank You For The Intercourse Extended Preview
1:54 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Charlie's Thoughts
1:50 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Super Duper Über Cougar
4:04 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Charlie's Secret Journal
3:21 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Interior Motive
2:39 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Charlie's Secret Journal
3:21 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Interior Motive
2:39 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Charlie's Thoughts
1:50 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Super Duper Über Cougar
4:04 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Preview: Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
1:10 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Preview: Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
1:10 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - 'The Squat and The Hover' Preview
2:01 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Walden and Alan are BFF's
1:40 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Walden's Junk
2:38 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - You're Prettier
2:44 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Walden Kisses Alan
3:12 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Walden Switches Teams
4:40 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Walden's Junk
2:38 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Walden Kisses Alan
3:12 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - You're Prettier
2:44 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Walden and Alan are BFF's
1:40 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Walden Switches Teams
4:40 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - 'The Squat and The Hover' Preview
2:01 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Master Baker
4:02 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - You Don't Have to Love me
2:09 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - A Two Way Street
3:33 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Bikini Brownie Party
4:50 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - A Check Does the Trick
3:10 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Walden Asks Alan to Stay
2:27 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Zippy Wants a Guest
2:19 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Walden Finds Some Honey
3:49 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Food Fight
2:58 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Jake's Room
1:18 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Alan and Jake Share a Room
2:00 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Judith Comforts Walden
2:08 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - I Like It On Top
3:20 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - I'm Back
1:24 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Shut Up And Walk
3:44 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Buzzing In My Ears
2:54 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Balloon Full Of Meat
1:27 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - The Morning After
1:03 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Just Say Hi
1:41 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Just Me And My Broken Heart
1:19 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Open House
1:25 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Last Request
2:00 min
Clip Behind the scenes
2:24 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Behind the Scenes
2:25 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Manly Men
0:26 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Ashton Has Arrived!
1:24 min
Clip 'Two And A Half Men' Season 7 DVD
1:21 min
Clip Ultimate Look Back - Two And A Half Men
2:34 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Fast Recap
1:53 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Crazy Fast Recap
0:48 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Super Fast Recap
1:31 min
Clip Two and a Half Men - Tricia Helfer Guest Stars
0:55 min
Clip Two And A Half Men - In The Spotlight - Angus T. Jones
1:06 min
Preview 'Two and a Half Men S6' on DVD
2:14 min
Clip 'Two and a Half Men: S5' Clips
1:24 min
Clip 'Two and a Half Men: S5' Clips
1:42 min
Clip 'Two and a Half Men': Vegas, Baby!
0:33 min
Clip 'Two and Half Men': Daddy Issues
0:29 min
Clip 'Two and a Half Men': Gay Humor
0:31 min

Two and a Half Men - Who Had Corn Chowder?

S0 | NR

Walden brings home the girl he met in the elevator. Alan tries to talk him out of it when Zoey calls.

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