Onion News Network

  • 2011
  • |

Satirical take on news events, celebrities, sports and the world of entertainment.

Watch with XFINITY ON DEMAND

Season 2

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep10 Year in Review
Ep9 Brooke vs. O'Brady
Ep8 Artificial Intelligence
Ep7 Sex in America
Ep6 Today Now! Special
Ep5 Exposed, Brooke Alvarez
Ep4 Dead Reporter
Ep3 Brainwall
Ep2 Missing Baby Kate
Ep1 Asteroid

Season 1

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep10 American Dream
Ep9 Real America
Ep8 Stock Market Crash
Ep7 The Real Obama
Ep6 Cyber Attack
Ep5 Trial of the TR-425
Ep4 Fifth Anniversary
Ep3 Man-Horse Marriage
Ep2 Snowlocaust
Ep1 Enter the FactZone

More to Watch

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep1 Brandon's Goodbye

Clips & More

Clip TypeClip NameViewing ProgressRun Length
Clip Jokes That Went Too Far
5 min 1 sec
Clip Comedic Influences
5 min 59 sec
Clip Breaking Into Comedy
5 min 4 sec
Clip No Improv Allowed
4 min 54 sec
Clip Newspaper or Television?
5 min 6 sec
Clip Fans Play Along
4 min 23 sec
Clip Guest Stars
4 min 32 sec
Clip Managing Curse Words
5 min 32 sec
Clip Our Favorite Jokes
5 min 41 sec
Clip Introducing the Panel
5 min 50 sec
Clip Expanding the Universe
5 min 14 sec
Clip From Web to TV
5 min 13 sec
Clip Taking It Seriously
4 min 56 sec
Clip lack Part Of Town Moves Across Town
110 sec
Clip hat Is Your Amateur Porn Telling Employers About You?
120 sec
Clip ASA Asks Russians To Stop Filming Porn On International Space Station
101 sec
Clip Ichiro Suzuki Convinces Yankee Teammates That It's Good Luck To Lick His Elbow
2 min 48 sec
Clip ountry Artist Sings About Real America And Its Meth Addicts
2 min 54 sec
Clip God Tells IOC President To Build Ark, Gather 2 Olympians From Each Sport
2 min 47 sec
Clip British Open Overrun By Lost Tribe Of Golfers Stuck In Its Bunkers
2 min 46 sec
Clip eens Hold Clothing Drive For Classmate Who Dresses Really Ugly
2 min 24 sec
Clip Cubs Finally Remove Wrigley Field Ivy After Third Outfielder Hangs Himself On A Vine
2 min 33 sec
Clip omney's Numbers Skyrocket After Prostitute Reveals She Paid Him To Sleep With Her
72 sec
Clip New Prius Helps Environment By Killing Its Owner
84 sec
Clip Chris Bosh Proves Himself Not To Be An Ostrich By Winning Championship
3 min 3 sec
Clip Internet Scam Alert: Most "Kickstarter" Projects Just Useless Crap
2 min 31 sec
Clip re Wetland Preserves Simply Dead-Body Dumping Grounds?
2 min 19 sec
Clip reaking Story So New Reporter Literally Has No Information
115 sec
Clip Reporter Goes Undercover In Chinatown By Wearing Silk Robe
2 min 16 sec
Clip Jailed Musician Comes Crawling Back To Hometown
114 sec
Clip Search Crews Continue To Look For Obviously Dead Hikers
2 min 4 sec
Clip Republicans Stalling Obama's Agenda By Speaking, Moving In Slow Motion
118 sec
Clip iden Unveils New Health Initiative To Make U.S. Women Hotter
69 sec
News Medium Channels The Spirits Of Old Acquaintances For Awkward Small Talk
3 min 5 sec
News anye West In Feud With Nation Of Syria
83 sec
News Shelby Cross Warns Women Self-Defense Classes "A Trap"
120 sec
News Mets Questionable For Opening Day
2 min 40 sec
News Today Now! Host Undergoes Horrifically Painful Surgery Live On Air
2 min 41 sec
News Broncos Receivers Worried Peyton Manning Going To Expose How Bad They Are
2 min 46 sec
News een's Death Hits Reporter Hard
3 min 21 sec
News Report: Economy Failing Because U.S. Built On Ancient Indian Burial Grounds
33 sec
News Tim Tebow Becomes First Christian To Play In NFL - Sports Year in Review
2 min 33 sec
News Tebow’s Defeat Restores Nation’s Faith In God
2 min 33 sec
News Peyton Manning Goes On 3-Day Football-Playing Binge After Being Dumped By Colts
2 min 35 sec
News Football Fans Excited To Watch Patriots Or Giants Lose Super Bowl
2 min 40 sec
News Eli Manning Asks Dad If He Can Stop Playing Football Now
57 sec
News Knicks Trade Jeremy Lin For Selfish Asshole Who Plays Knicks-Style Basketball
2 min 41 sec
News Woman Sets Record For Longest Amount Of Time Spent Talking About Oneself
2 min 36 sec
News Nation Abuzz With Prospect Of 18-Year-Old Boys Having Their Dreams Crushed
2 min 38 sec
News Broncos Receivers Worried Peyton Manning Going To Expose How Bad They Are
2 min 46 sec
News Today Now!: Save Money By Taking A Vacation Entirely In Your Mind
2 min 27 sec
News Missing Teen's Friends Go On TV To Plead For Her Release, Gossip About Ugly Classmates
3 min 12 sec
News Millions Irrationally Feared Dead In Minor Train Accident
2 min 49 sec
News Dead Wife And Kids Replaced By Miniature Horses
2 min 49 sec
News Boy Loses Leg In Totally Awesome Shark Attack
2 min 25 sec
News Biden Criticized For Appearing In Hennessy Ads
116 sec
News Hot New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In The Face
115 sec
News Victim In Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck
110 sec
News Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature
2 min 21 sec
News Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?
2 min 59 sec
News New Wearable Feedbags Let Americans Eat More, Move Less
114 sec
News Rep. Seeks Retroactive Immunity For Anyone Who Hit On First Lady Last Night
108 sec
News New Live Poll Allows Pundits To Pander To Viewers In Real Time
3 min 9 sec
News Obama Axes Pentagon Plan To Build Billion Dollar Tank In Shape Of Dragon
2 min 5 sec
News Stalker Financial Expert Offers Recession Tips Just For Woman He Follows
2 min 3 sec
News Human Rights Group Campaigns To End Use Of Child Politicians In Africa
2 min 37 sec
News Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's
2 min 46 sec
News Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips On How To Make Your Kids Less Attractive
2 min 15 sec
News Adults Go Wild Over Latest In Children's Picture Book Series
2 min 23 sec
News Courageous Man Refuses To Believe He Has Cancer
2 min 49 sec
News Online Dating Helping Pathetic Women Get Their Hopes Crushed More Efficiently
113 sec
News Fatal Staples Center Collapse Brings Merciful Early End To Clippers Game
2 min 20 sec
News Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat
2 min 37 sec
News Baseball Superstar Accused of Performance-Enhancing Genie Use
2 min 55 sec
News Fat Kid Successfully Avoids Ridicule By Swimming With Shirt On
2 min 26 sec
News Conservatives Warn Quick Sex Change Only Barrier Between Gays, Marriage
2 min 25 sec
News DEA Recruits Lil Wayne To Use Up All Drugs In Mexico
113 sec
News Crime Reporter: Man Had Sex With Wife Thousands Of Times Before Killing Her
3 min 0 sec
News DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack
2 min 6 sec
News Final Season Of 'Lost' Promises To Make Fans More Annoying Than Ever
2 min 49 sec
News Packers Fan Announces He Will Return To Drinking For Another Season
2 min 47 sec
News Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested In Manslaughter Law Loopholes
2 min 25 sec
News Congo Approves Economic Stimulus Package Of AK-47 For Every Citizen
84 sec
News Domino's Scientists Test Limits Of What Humans Will Eat
97 sec
News Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again By Sneezing During Meeting
2 min 33 sec
News Autoworkers Compete to Keep Jobs, Livelihoods on New Reality Show
3 min 32 sec
News Poll: Happy, Healthy Obamas Out Of Touch With Miserable Americans
2 min 26 sec
News Internet Archaeologists Find Ruins Of 'Friendster' Civilization
2 min 32 sec
News Police Still Searching For Missing Productive, Obedient Woman
2 min 51 sec
News New Anti-Smoking Ads Warn Teens 'It's Gay To Smoke'
2 min 45 sec
News White House Reveals Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase
2 min 29 sec
News Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner
2 min 38 sec
News New Law Requires Women To Name Baby, Paint Nursery Before Getting Abortion
2 min 10 sec
News Ambassador Stages Coup At UN, Issues Long List of Non-Binding Resolutions
2 min 1 sec
News Ninja Parade Slips Through Town Unnoticed Once Again
59 sec
News NHL Tries To Woo Fans By Increasing Scoring With Bigger Nets, 3-Point Line
117 sec
News Should We Be Doing More To Reduce The Graphic Violence In Our Dreams?
2 min 36 sec
News Child Bankrupts Make-A-Wish Foundation With Wish For Unlimited Wishes
2 min 23 sec
News Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women
2 min 18 sec
News Obama To Hold Job Performance Review With Every American Worker
2 min 13 sec
News U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt
2 min 29 sec
News Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
2 min 45 sec
News New BabySafe Ball Makes Shaking Your Infant Guilt And Injury Free
2 min 57 sec
News Obama To Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire
2 min 46 sec
News Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks
2 min 50 sec
News Pentagon Reports Army Mascot 'Liberty' Killed in Iraq
2 min 17 sec
News Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport
2 min 25 sec
News More American Workers Outsourcing Own Jobs Overseas
2 min 26 sec
News Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman
3 min 44 sec
News Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'
2 min 21 sec
News Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire
2 min 47 sec
News Congresswoman Says Botched Plastic Surgery Most Important Issue Facing U.S.
2 min 1 sec
News Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.
3 min 13 sec
News Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee
2 min 37 sec
News Congressman's Son Won't Shut The Hell Up During Hearing
2 min 22 sec
News Ford Unveils New Car For Cash-Strapped Buyers: The 1993 Taurus
106 sec
News Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?
2 min 5 sec
News How To Find A Masculine Halloween Costume For Your Effeminate Son
2 min 51 sec
News Evander Holyfield To Box Horse For Heavyweight Title
2 min 34 sec
News FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful
2 min 6 sec
News Congressman Demands To Know Who Left Fish Sandwich To Rot On House Floor
2 min 46 sec
News Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated In Yet Another Daring Jewel Heist
2 min 49 sec
News Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together'
4 min 16 sec
News U.S. To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through Cash4Gold.com
2 min 31 sec
News Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg
2 min 27 sec
News Google Opt Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy By Moving To Remote Village
2 min 17 sec
Clip Onion News Network: Creating the 9/11 Issue
6 min 7 sec
Clip Onion News Network: Avoiding the Easy Jokes
4 min 50 sec
Clip Onion News Network: Anderson Cooper and the Afghan Warlord
4 min 50 sec
Clip Onion News Network: The Origins of the American Voices Photos
4 min 20 sec
Clip Onion News Network: The Writing and Editing Process
4 min 58 sec
Clip Onion News Network: How Twitter and Facebook Have Changed the Onion
4 min 35 sec
Clip Onion News Network: Campaign for a Pulitzer Prize
4 min 18 sec
Clip Onion News Network: How the Writers Got Hired
5 min 31 sec
Clip Onion News Network: Poking Fun at Celebrities
5 min 10 sec
Clip Onion News Network: The Writers Reveal Their Favorite Headlines
5 min 45 sec
News Boy Finds Own Real-Life E.T.
3 min 13 sec
News Obama's Home Teleprompter Malfunctions During Family Dinner
2 min 38 sec
News Ford Unveils New Car for Cash-Strapped Buyers: the 1993 Taurus
106 sec
News Victim in Fatal Car Accident Tragically Not Glenn Beck
110 sec
News How to Find a Masculine Halloween Costume for Your Effeminate Son
2 min 51 sec
News Gaffe-Prone Biden Embarrasses Nation Yet Again by Sneezing During Meeting
2 min 33 sec
News Bad Boy Fencing Star Implicated in Yet Another Daring Jewel Heist
2 min 49 sec
News Obama to Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire
2 min 46 sec
News Are the Obamas Out of Touch With the Average Miserable American Family?
2 min 26 sec
News Crime Reporter Finds Way of Linking Warehouse Fire to Depraved Sex Act
3 min 4 sec
News Little Boy Heroically Shoots, Mutilates Burglar
2 min 26 sec
News Americans Observing 9/11 By Trying Not To Masturbate
104 sec
News BREAKING NEWS: Bat Loose in Congress
3 min 14 sec
News Report: Growing Ranks Of Nouveau Poor Facing Discrimination From Old Poor
2 min 43 sec
News U.S. Condemned For Pre-Emptive Use Of Hillary Clinton Against Pakistan
2 min 28 sec
News NFL Players Mentor Troubled Detroit Lions
109 sec
News Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids
2 min 47 sec
News Is Using A Minotaur To Gore Detainees A Form Of Torture?
2 min 39 sec
News Sudden Ominous Music Heard Across U.S., Nation Panicking
2 min 49 sec
News Baseball Superstar Accused of Performance-Enhancing Genie Use
2 min 55 sec
News White House Reveals Obama Is Bipolar, Has Entered Depressive Phase
2 min 29 sec
News Advocacy Group Decries PETA's Inhumane Treatment Of Women
2 min 18 sec
News Google Opt-Out Feature Lets Users Protect Privacy By Moving To Remote Village
2 min 17 sec
News Ex-Pedophile Shares Tips On How To Make Your Kids Less Attractive
2 min 15 sec
News U.S. Government Stages Fake Coup To Wipe Out National Debt
2 min 29 sec
News Congresswoman Says Botched Plastic Surgery Most Important Issue Facing U.S.
2 min 1 sec
News Evander Holyfield To Box Horse For Heavyweight Title
2 min 35 sec
News Human Rights Group Campaigns To End Use Of Child Politicians In Africa
2 min 37 sec
News Obama Axes Pentagon Plan To Build Billion Dollar Tank In Shape Of Dragon
2 min 5 sec
News New Live Poll Allows Pundits To Pander To Viewers In Real Time
3 min 9 sec
News Taco Bell's New Green Menu Takes No Ingredients From Nature
2 min 21 sec
News Obama To Hold Job Performance Review With Every American Worker
2 min 13 sec
News More American Workers Outsourcing Own Jobs Overseas
2 min 26 sec
News Treasury Department Issues Emergency Recall Of All US Dollars
112 sec
News US To Trade Gold Reserves For Cash Through Cash4Gold.com
2 min 31 sec
News Gymnast Shawn Johnson Put To Sleep After Breaking Leg
2 min 27 sec
News Congressman Demands To Know Who Left Fish Sandwich To Rot On House Floor
2 min 46 sec
News Obama Drastically Scales Back Goals For America After Visiting Denny's
2 min 46 sec
News New BabySafe Ball Makes Shaking Your Infant Guilt And Injury Free
2 min 57 sec
News Conservatives Warn Quick Sex Change Only Barrier Between Gays, Marriage
2 min 25 sec
News Political Talk Show Host Suddenly Very Interested In Manslaughter Law Loopholes
2 min 25 sec
News Nation's Girlfriends Unveil New Economic Plan: 'Let's Move In Together'
4 min 16 sec
News NHL Tries To Woo Fans By Increasing Scoring With Bigger Nets, 3-Point Line
118 sec
News Police Slog Through 40,000 Insipid Party Pics To Find Cause Of Dorm Fire
2 min 47 sec
News Congressman's Son Won't Shut The Hell Up During Hearing
2 min 22 sec
News Pentagon Reports Army Mascot 'Liberty' Killed in Iraq
2 min 17 sec
News Special Boy With Freakishly Large Brain Wins Spelling Bee
2 min 37 sec
News Trekkies Bash New Star Trek Film As 'Fun, Watchable'
2 min 21 sec
News Ambassador Stages Coup At UN, Issues Long List of Non-Binding Resolutions
2 min 1 sec
News Autoworkers Compete to Keep Jobs, Livelihoods on New Reality Show
3 min 32 sec
News Should We Be Doing More To Reduce The Graphic Violence In Our Dreams?
2 min 36 sec
News Prison Economy Spirals As Price Of Pack Of Cigarettes Surpasses Two Hand Jobs
2 min 15 sec
News Study: Children Exposed To Pornography May Expect Sex To Be Enjoyable
2 min 17 sec
News Hot New Video Game Consists Solely Of Shooting People Point-Blank In The Face
115 sec
News Morning Show Host Starts Charity To Rid World Of Flying Debris
3 min 8 sec
News DNA Evidence Frees Black Man Convicted Of Bear Attack
2 min 6 sec
News Congressman’s War Hero Son Would Have Wanted Highway Bill Passed
2 min 19 sec
News Prague's Franz Kafka International Named World's Most Alienating Airport
2 min 25 sec
News Paleontologists Discover Skeleton Of Nature’s First Sexual Predator
2 min 10 sec
News Manufacturer Recalls Hollow Point Bullets That Fail To Explode Inside Targets
2 min 9 sec
News Congressman Offers Preemptive Apology For Extramarital Affair
2 min 27 sec
News Experts Agree Giant, Razor-Clawed Bioengineered Crabs Pose No Threat
2 min 37 sec
News NCAA Expands March Madness To Include 4,096 Teams
2 min 25 sec
News Jennifer Love Hewitt Pays Magazine $2.2 Million To Run Photos Of Her Baby
2 min 5 sec
News Are Violent Video Games Adequately Preparing Children For The Apocalypse?
2 min 5 sec
News Majority Of World’s Spam Email Originates From Tiny Nation Of Koy4goff
3 min 47 sec
News Courageous Man Refuses To Believe He Has Cancer
2 min 49 sec
News East Timor's First Female Dictator Hailed As Step Forward For Women
2 min 18 sec
News FDA Approves Depressant Drug For The Annoyingly Cheerful
2 min 6 sec
News Are Reality Shows Setting Unrealistic Standards For Skanks?
2 min 27 sec
News Tom Coughlin Retires From Family To Spend More Time With Team
2 min 23 sec
News How To Wax Your Floors Without Slipping And Severing Your Spine
3 min 6 sec
News Kim Jong Il Announces Plan To Bring Moon To North Korea
2 min 16 sec
News Police Say School Shooter Had Troubled Past, History Of School Shootings
2 min 40 sec
News Bratz Dolls May Give Young Girls Unrealistic Expectations Of Head Size
3 min 28 sec
News Congress Debates Adding Elaborate Dance To Obama's Inauguration Ceremony
2 min 31 sec
News Survivors Of Gas Station Explosion Mourn Tragic Loss Of Gasoline In Gas Explosion
2 min 33 sec
News Man Who Crossed Nation In Balloon Only Wants To Talk About Horse Abuse
2 min 46 sec
News Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard
2 min 45 sec
News Media Watchdog Accuses Weather Channel Of Pro-Weather Bias
2 min 17 sec
News Aunts And Stepdads Line Up For This Year's Hottest Gift: The Electric Tea Kettle
114 sec
News President To Face Down Monster Attack, Own Demons In Action-Packed Schedule
2 min 47 sec
News In The Know: How Can We Make The Iraq War More Handicap Accessible?
2 min 16 sec
News NASA Simulator Prepares Astronauts for Rigors of an Interview with Larry King
3 min 31 sec
News USDA Official Takes Courageous Stand Against Interstate Countercyclical Potato Pricing
3 min 5 sec
News In Thanksgiving Tradition, Bush Pardons Scooter Libby In Giant Turkey Costume
102 sec
News China’s Andy Rooney Has Some Funny Opinions About How Great The Chinese Government Is
2 min 41 sec
News Attractive Girls Union Refuses To Enter Into Talks With Mike Greenman
3 min 44 sec
News In The Know: Should The Government Stop Dumping Money Into A Giant Hole?
2 min 4 sec
News YouTube Contest Challenges Users To Make A 'Good' Video
2 min 31 sec
News Obama Win Causes Obsessive Supporters To Realize How Empty Their Lives Are
2 min 47 sec
News Barbara Bush Runs Aground Off Coast Of Maine
2 min 35 sec
News Voting Machines Elect One Of Their Own As President
3 min 14 sec
News Has Halloween Become Overcommercialized?
3 min 17 sec
News Obama Undertakes Presidential Internship To Ease Concerns About His Lack Of Experience
2 min 58 sec
News Cindy McCain Claims She’s ‘Just Like Any Other Female Human’
2 min 3 sec
S0 |

Jokes That Went Too Far

Airdate:
A fan asks about segments that crossed the line. Writers Lang Fisher and John Harris cite a piece that involved butchering a pig. Head writer Carol Kolb recalls a 24-hour work day.
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