Two and a Half Men

  • 2003
  • |

A hit sitcom built on often-raunchy material, starring Charlie Sheen and, later, Ashton Kutcher begins with the premise of a Malibu bachelor (Sheen) whose life is disrupted when his brother and... More

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Season 11

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep22 Oh WALD-E, Good Times Ahead
Ep21 Dial 1-900-Mix-A-Lot
Ep20 Lotta Delis in Little Armenia
Ep19 Lan Mao Shi Zai Wuding Shang
Ep18 #1 West Side Story
Ep17 #1 Welcome Home, Jake
Ep16 How to Get Rid of Alan Harper
Ep15 Cab Fare and a Bottle of Penicillin
Ep14 Three Fingers of Crème de Menthe
Ep13 Bite Me, Supreme Court
Ep12 Baseball. Boobs. Boobs. Baseball.
Ep11 Tazed in the Lady Nuts
Ep10 On Vodka, On Soda, On Blender, On Mixer!
Ep9 Numero Uno Accidente Lawyer
Ep8 Mr. Walden, He Die. I Clean Room.
Ep7 Some Kind of Lesbian Zombie
Ep6 Justice in Star-Spangled Hot Pants
Ep5 Alan Harper, Pleasing Women Since 2003
Ep4 Clank, Clank, Drunken Skank
Ep3 #1 This Unblessed Biscuit
Ep2 I Think I Banged Lucille Ball
Ep1 Nangnangnangnang

Season 10

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep23 Cows, Prepare to Be Tipped
Ep22 My Bodacious Vidalia
Ep21 Another Night With Neil Diamond
Ep20 Bazinga! That's From a TV Show
Ep19 Big Episode. Someone Stole a Spoon
Ep18 The 9:04 From Pemberton
Ep17 Throgwarten Middle School Mysteries
Ep16 Advantage: Fat, Flying Baby
Ep15 Paint It, Pierce It or Plug It
Ep14 Run, Steven Staven! Run!
Ep13 Grab a Feather and Get in Line
Ep12 Welcome to Alancrest
Ep11 Give Santa a Tail-Hole
Ep10 One Nut Johnson
Ep9 I Scream When I Pee
Ep8 Something My Gynecologist Said
Ep7 Avoid the Chinese Mustard
Ep6 Ferrets, Attack!
Ep5 That's Not What They Call It in Amsterdam
Ep4 You Do Know What the Lollipop's For
Ep3 Four Balls, Two Bats and One Mitt
Ep2 A Big Bag of Dog
Ep1 I Changed My Mind About the Milk

Season 9

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep24 Oh Look! Al-Qaeda!
Ep23 The Straw in My Donut Hole
Ep22 Why We Gave Up Women
Ep21 Mr. Hose Says "Yes"
Ep20 Grandma's Pie
Ep19 Palmdale, Ech
Ep18 The War Against Gingivitis
Ep17 Not In My Mouth!
Ep16 Sips, Sonnets and Sodomy
Ep15 The Duchess of Dull-In-Sack
Ep14 A Possum on Chemo
Ep13 Slowly and in a Circular Fashion
Ep12 One False Move, Zimbabwe!
Ep11 What A Lovely Landing Strip
Ep10 Fishbowl Full of Glass Eyes
Ep9 Frodo's Headshots
Ep8 Thanks for the Intercourse
Ep7 Those Fancy Japanese Toilets
Ep6 The Squat and the Hover
Ep5 Giant Cat Holding Churro
Ep4 Nine Magic Fingers
Ep3 Big Girls Don't Throw Food
Ep2 People Who Love Peepholes
Ep1 Nice to Meet You, Walden Schmidt

Season 8

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep16 That Darn Priest
Ep15 Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Ep15 Three Hookers and a Philly Cheesesteak
Ep14 Lookin' for Japanese Subs
Ep13 Skunk, Dog, Crap and Ketchup
Ep12 Chocolate Diddlers or My Puppy's Dead
Ep11 Dead from the Waist Down
Ep10 Ow, Ow Don't Stop
Ep9 A Good Time in Central Africa
Ep8 Springtime on a Stick
Ep7 The Crazy Bitch Gazette
Ep6 Twanging Your Magic Clanger
Ep5 The Immortal Mr. Billy Joel
Ep4 Hookers, Hookers, Hookers
Ep3 A Pudding-Filled Cactus
Ep2 A Bottle of Wine and a Jackhammer
Ep1 Three Girls and a Guy Named Bud

Season 7

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep22 This Is Not Gonna End Well
Ep21 Gumby with a Pokey
Ep20 I Called Him Magoo
Ep19 Keith Moon is Vomiting in His Grave
Ep18 Ixnay on the Oggie Day
Ep17 I Found Your Moustache
Ep16 Tinkle Like a Princess
Ep15 Aye, Aye, Captain Douche
Ep14 Crude and Uncalled For
Ep13 Yay, No Polyps!
Ep12 Fart Jokes, Pie and Celeste
Ep11 Warning, It's Dirty
Ep10 That's Why They Call It Ball Room
Ep9 Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
Ep8 Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle
Ep7 Untainted by Filth
Ep6 Give Me Your Thumb
Ep5 For the Sake of the Child
Ep4 Laxative Tester, Horse Inseminator
Ep3 Mmm, Fish. Yum
Ep2 Whipped Unto the Third Generation
Ep1 818-jlkpuzo

Season 6

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep24 Baseball Was Better With Steroids
Ep23 Good Morning Mrs. Butterworth
Ep22 Sir Lancelot's Litter Box
Ep21 Above Exalted Cyclops
Ep20 Hello, I Am Alan Cousteau
Ep19 The Two Finger Rule
Ep18 My Son's Enormous Head
Ep17 The 'Ocu' or the 'Pado'?
Ep16 She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime
Ep15 I'd Like to Start With the Cat
Ep14 David Copperfield Slipped Me a Roofie
Ep13 I Think You Offended Don
Ep12 Thank God for Scoliosis
Ep11 The Devil's Lube
Ep10 He Smelled the Ham, He Got Excited
Ep9 The Mooch at the Boo
Ep8 Pinocchio's Mouth
Ep7 Best H.O. Money Can Buy
Ep6 It's Always Nazi Week
Ep5 A Jock Strap in Hell
Ep4 The Flavin' and the Mavin'
Ep3 Damn You, Eggs Benedict
Ep2 Pie Hole, Herb
Ep1 Taterhead Is Our Love Child

Season 5

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep19 Waiting for the Right Snapper
Ep18 If My Hole Could Talk
Ep17 Fish in a Drawer
Ep16 Look at Me, Mommy, I'm Pretty
Ep15 Rough Night in Hump Junction
Ep14 Winky-Dink Time
Ep13 The Soil Is Moist
Ep12 A Little Clammy and None Too Fresh
Ep11 Meander to Your Dander
Ep10 Kinda Like Necrophilia
Ep9 Tight's Good
Ep8 Is There a Mrs. Waffles?
Ep7 The Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room
Ep6 Help Daddy Find His Toenail
Ep5 Putting Swim Fins on a Cat
Ep4 City of Great Racks
Ep3 Dum Diddy Dum Diddy Doo
Ep2 Media Room Slash Dungeon
Ep1 Large Birds, Spiders and Mom

Season 4

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep24 Prostitutes and Gelato
Ep23 Anteaters. They're Just Crazy-Lookin
Ep22 Mr. McGlue's Feedbag
Ep21 Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous
Ep20 Aunt Myra Doesn't Pee a Lot
Ep19 Smooth as a Ken Doll
Ep18 It Never Rains in Hooterville
Ep17 I Merely Slept With a Commie
Ep16 Young People Have Phlegm Too
Ep15 My Damn Stalker
Ep14 That's Summer Sausage, Not Salami
Ep13 Don't Worry, Speed Racer
Ep12 Castrating Sheep in Montana
Ep11 Walnuts and Demerol
Ep10 Kissing Abraham Lincoln
Ep9 Corey's Been Dead for an Hour
Ep8 Release the Dogs
Ep7 Repeated Blows to His Unformed Head
Ep6 Apologies for the Frivolity
Ep5 A Live Woman of Proven Fertility
Ep4 A Pot-Smoking Monkey
Ep3 The Sea Is a Harsh Mistress
Ep2 Who's Vod Kanockers?
Ep1 Working for Caligula

Season 3

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep24 That Pistol-packin' Hermaphrodite
Ep23 Arguments for the Quickie
Ep22 Just Once With Aunt Sophie
Ep21 And the Plot Moistens
Ep20 Always a Bridesmaid, Never a Burro
Ep19 Golly Moses, She's a Muffin
Ep18 The Spit-Covered Cobbler
Ep17 The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer
Ep16 Ergo, the Booty Call
Ep15 My Tongue Is Meat
Ep14 Love Isn't Blind, It's Retarded
Ep13 Humiliation Is a Visual Medium
Ep12 That Special Tug
Ep11 Santa's Village of the Damned
Ep10 Something Salty and Twisted
Ep9 Madame and Her Special Friend
Ep8 That Voodoo That I Do Do
Ep7 Sleep Tight, Puddin' Pop
Ep6 Hi, Mr. Horned One
Ep5 We Call It Mr. Pinky
Ep4 Your Dismissive Attitude Towards Boobs
Ep3 Carpet Burns and a Bite Mark
Ep2 Principal Gallagher's Lesbian Lover
Ep1 Weekend in Bangkok With Two Olympic Gymnasts

Season 2

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep24 Does This Smell Funny to You?
Ep23 Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab, Squab
Ep22 That Old Hose Bag Is My Mother
Ep21 A Sympathetic Crotch to Cry On
Ep20 I Always Wanted a Shaved Monkey
Ep19 A Low, Guttural Tongue-Flapping Noise
Ep18 It Was 'Mame,' Mom
Ep17 Woo-Hoo, a Hernia Exam!
Ep16 Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?
Ep15 Smell the Umbrella Stand
Ep14 Those Big Pink Things With Coconut
Ep13 Zejdz zmoich wlosow (Get Off My Hair)
Ep12 A Lungful of Alan
Ep11 Last Chance to See Those Tattoos
Ep10 The Salmon Under My Sweater
Ep9 Yes, Monsignor
Ep8 Frankenstein and the Horny Villagers
Ep7 A Kosher Slaughterhouse Out in Fontana
Ep6 The Price of Healthy Gums Is Eternal Vigilance
Ep5 Bad News From the Clinic?
Ep4 Go Get Mommy's Bra
Ep3 A Bag Full of Jawea
Ep2 Enjoy Those Garlic Balls
Ep1 Back Off, Mary Poppins

Season 1

Episode Number Episode Name Viewing Progress Airdate
Ep24 Can You Feel My Finger?
Ep23 Just Like Buffalo
Ep22 My Doctor Has a Cow Puppet
Ep21 No Sniffing, No Wowing
Ep20 Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark?
Ep19 I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You
Ep18 An Old Flame With a New Wick
Ep17 Ate the Hamburgers, Wearing the Hats
Ep16 That Was Saliva, Alan
Ep15 Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick
Ep14 I Can't Afford Hyenas
Ep13 Sarah Like Puny Alan
Ep12 Camel Filters and Pheromones
Ep11 Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor
Ep10 Merry Thanksgiving
Ep9 Phase One, Complete
Ep8 Twenty-Five Little Pre-Pubers Without a Snoot-ful
Ep7 If They Do Go Either Way They're Usually Fake
Ep6 Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys?
Ep5 The Last Thing You Want to Do Is Wind Up With a Hump
Ep4 If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song, I'm Going to Take a Nap
Ep3 Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell
Ep2 Big Flappy Bastards
Ep1 Pilot Episode

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Ep1 Pilot Episode
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That Voodoo That I Do
If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake
Charlie's Angels
Best Guest Stars
Aye, Aye, Captain
Three Hookers And A Philly Cheesecake
Captain Terry's Spray-On Hair
The Unfortunate Little Schnauser
That Voodoo That I Do
What a Lovely Landing Strip

Clips & More

Clip TypeClip NameViewing ProgressRun Length
Clip Two And A Half Men - Cheap Daddy
103 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Group Hug!
2 min 55 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Karaoke Night
2 min 1 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Alan's Proposal
66 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Internal Massage
3 min 54 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Big Pimpin'
2 min 56 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Run Alan, Run
115 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Alan Under Arrest
92 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - The Kinky Back
4 min 23 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Meet The Schmidts
90 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - It's A Sign
2 min 20 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Eating Kimye
2 min 24 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Waiting It Out
2 min 23 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - There's Your Car
2 min 25 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Friends Without Benefits
72 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Dinner, Conversation And No Sex
2 min 33 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Alan Harper's Place
72 sec
Clip Two And A half Men - Dirty Math Jokes
112 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Back For More
105 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Happy To See Me?
59 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Bonding And Bondage
114 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Ball To The face
38 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Double Date
104 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Get The Flock Out
2 min 15 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Liar, Lair, Pants On Fire
3 min 4 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Bang, Marry, Kill
91 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - The New Roommate
102 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Cheap Date
88 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Socially Awkward Stakeout
108 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Oral Agreement
105 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Bad News Bong
94 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Potter's Wheel
66 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Twitchy Love
114 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - The Manly Man
94 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Daytime Strip Club
117 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Man Down
72 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - What's Going On?
2 min 14 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - The Break Up
2 min 34 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - One More Wedding
2 min 3 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Walden Proposes
3 min 14 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Panty Shopping
81 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - The Party Is Over
104 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Behind the Scenes: 'Bite Me, Supreme Court'
2 min 29 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Software And Sexy Thoughts
92 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Gym Class All Over Again
61 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Jeff Probst Returns!
44 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - The Swinging Double Date
2 min 7 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Alone At The Movies
115 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - The Night Before Christmas
58 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Blown Off
82 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Let's Rap
2 min 25 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Bro-zillian Waxing
2 min 1 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - No , No, No
91 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - The Angry Lady
110 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - #Iloveyou
2 min 25 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - A Man Named Paul
2 min 21 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Not Banging Your Girl
2 min 17 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Just A Whore
2 min 6 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Regrettable Actions
2 min 32 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - The Creepy Inn Keeper
92 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Getting Some Fairy Tale
91 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - On Bended Knee
49 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - The Magic Word
2 min 33 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Surprise!
120 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Jenny Scores
50 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - A Crazy Little Thing
91 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Alan And The Lasso Of Truth!
2 min 22 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - A Wonder-ful Night
84 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Alan's Man Crush
2 min 2 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - You Can Do It!
4 min 0 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Suited Up
2 min 21 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Spin Class Pals
2 min 48 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - I Banged James Franco
2 min 44 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - What Happens In Jenny Stays In Jenny
2 min 7 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Strip Poker
98 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Rollin' Balls
2 min 5 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Walden And Berta Make Up
2 min 15 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Sassy And Schizophrenic
2 min 7 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - The Alan Harper Plan
2 min 54 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Nap Time Is Over
109 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Packing Heat
98 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Going Down
63 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Panties In A Bunch
75 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - The Bitch Be Gone
3 min 5 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - If You Were A Chick...
2 min 8 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Alan Meets His Niece
3 min 32 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Jenny Meets Her Grandmother
2 min 29 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Jenny Picks Up A Girl
2 min 34 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Jenny Visits Charlie's Former Room
2 min 19 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Jenny Meets Charlie
79 sec
Clip Two and a Half Men - Behind the Scenes
3 min 11 sec
Clip Sneak Peek: Nangnangnangnang
10 sec
Clip Two and a Half Men - Behind the Scenes: 'Grab A Feather And Get In Line'
3 min 3 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: Resentment Exclusi
117 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: Couples Counseling
110 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: Seeing Other Peopl
79 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: Colonoscopy
47 sec
Preview Two And A Half Men: The Complete Seven
77 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: Herb Stops By
2 min 24 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: S'mores
81 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: Treasure
62 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: I Got Nothing
111 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: Jake's A Regular K
2 min 6 sec
Preview Two And A Half Men: The Complete Sixth
84 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: Two Women
2 min 14 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: Not A Hollywood Ki
2 min 4 sec
Preview Two And A Half Men: Season 7
55 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: Clip 1
85 sec
Preview Two And A Half Men: Season 6
76 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: Red Lobster
2 min 32 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: Writing For Women
106 sec
Preview Two And A Half Men: The Complete Fourt
100 sec
Preview Two And A Half Men: Season 5
34 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: Jake's Not A Littl
2 min 13 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men: Clip 1
57 sec
Preview Two And A Half Men: The Complete Fifth
59 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Behind the Scenes: You Do Know What The Lollipop's For
2 min 50 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Behind The Scenes
2 min 9 sec
Clip Two And A Half Men - Ultimate Look Back
5 min 15 sec
Clip Two and a Half Men - Why We Gave Up Women Extended Preview
104 sec
Clip 2 Broke Girls - And The Big Buttercup Breakthrough Extended Preview
96 sec
Clip 2 Broke Girls - And Martha Stewart Have A Ball Extended Preview
78 sec
Clip 2 Broke Girls - Messy Purse Smackdown Extended Preview
112 sec
Clip Two and a Half Men - Talking To Your Kids About Sex
95 sec
Clip 2 Broke Girls - And The Drug Money Extended Preview
101 sec
Clip Two and a Half Men - Behind the Scenes: John Shaffner Interview
2 min 28 sec
Clip Behind the scenes
2 min 24 sec
Clip Two and a Half Men - Behind the Scenes
2 min 24 sec
Clip Two and a Half Men - Manly Men
26 sec
Clip Two and a Half Men - Super Fast Recap
91 sec
Clip Two and a Half Men - Crazy Fast Recap
48 sec
Clip Two and a Half Men - Fast Recap
113 sec
Clip Two and a Half Men - Lara Spencer Behind the scenes on Two and a Half Men
71 sec
Clip Two and A Half Men
3 min 1 sec
Clip cbs 2men epmeanderclip1 4X3
44 sec
Clip EMEN143DEAR CAN
102 sec
Clip cbs 2andahalfmen s2dvdouttakes1
112 sec
Clip cbs twomen gelato b
33 sec
Clip cbs twomen gelato a
29 sec
Clip twoandhalfmen tucked arc ar4x3 n
31 sec
S11 | Ep18

West Side Story

Airdate: 4/3/14
Walden gets an invitation to an opening for his ex-girlfriend's boutique; Gretchen hopes to spend more time at Alan's house.
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